Chi Running 101

I did not anticipate that this class would end up being another chance to wrestle with body stuff and make new discoveries, but it totally was. That's a good thing, if you're keeping score.

I decided to sign up for Saturday's class on Friday. Like so many things with this adventure, I didn't give myself much time to talk myself out of it. At the end of the day yesterday, that felt like a huge miscalculation. This morning I have a different perspective. 

The class was four hours long and started in a yoga studio. There were seven of us, plus the instructor, and I'm pretty sure that I gathered that everyone in the room was in their 40's. Most everyone was more experienced than me in running and I was the biggest person there, weight-wise. Why do I notice this? I have always noticed this, even when it wasn't about weight. When you're anything other than 5'4 and 115 lbs in this society, you notice your "rank" in the room. I'd like to say I've gotten past that, but I haven't. This probably seems like a digression, but you'll see how it mattered soon.

We started with introductions and quickly moved into practicing forms. For me, this was super helpful as I've read the books and even watched chi running videos, but couldn't really tell if I was getting it right. We had great instruction, personal attention and lots of opportunity to practice. This was hugely valuable to me. Even if you already pay close attention to your body, I think there's something to be gained here - maybe even more - because most of us have really screwed up our form trying to be faster (albeit unwittingly). Much of this session was spent barefoot, which also really helped with the sensing, though we did move into having shoes on towards the end.

The challenge of the day, for me, was heading out into near record heat to put it all into action. We rode together to a park and then jogged around the perimeter to practice. The jogging was longer and faster than I normally do with my intervals. It was in the sun, on the sidewalk and involved gentle inclines. I made it through the first loop pretty easily, but before we were far into the second loop, the heat and my back really started to get to me, and I fell further and further behind the group. 

I wanted to tell the instructor to move on, not to stop for me, but there really wasn't a chance. I berated myself for choosing to take the class when I was so clearly out of my league. I stopped to drink and cool down, and started picking at myself for wimping out. All the crap tapes were rolling in my head. I was sure everyone in the group was thinking I had no business having my fat ass there. I was the fat girl in full self-destruct mode. This was ALL me, by the way. No one actually gave me "a look" and in fact, several expressed sympathy or concern. Still, I beat the hell out of myself, thought I wasted my money, didn't gain anything, had no business being there and so on and so on. I was glad to leave, practically running out the door.

I got home and iced my back (this is becoming a daily occurrence).  When I mentioned my back in class, one of the participants told me to get to a physical therapist. My doc offered PT when this happened back in May and I shrugged it off. Now I'm thinking I'm going to email her and ask her to set it up. As my back numbed out, I still beat myself up. I called Jeff in to help talk me down. It was way too damned hot for any kind of hugging, so we just laid there in bed, feet touching, while he talked me down a bit. I finally fell asleep still feeling a bit like I'd wasted time and money, and discouraged about future running.

When I woke up this morning and sat up in bed, I felt a strong twinge from my lower abs. My lower abs, which had been such a focal point yesterday and which I was so sure were not working at all, were sore! Something did shift in my form yesterday, I realized. I went to bed thinking I needed to forget about jogging, keep walking and visit the physical therapist. I woke up thinking that I need to visit the physical therapist, hit the elliptical and swim at the gym till it cools down (and my back is more fully healed) and then try, try again. And I now have many more tools in my arsenal. I call win. 

What I most love about what I learned yesterday is the body/mind connection. I was able to use many things I've learned meditating and doing yoga in shifting my running form. Once my back is truly healed, I can see how this will make a HUGE difference not just in how running feels, but in how quickly I can do it. That's pretty exciting. If you have a chance to take a chi running class, do. The class really can be the connecting force between the book and DVDs. Just like in yoga, there's no substitute for a skilled instructor who can gently help you put your body where it needs to be so that things stop hurting. It's better than a mirror, for sure.