Chi Running 101

I did not anticipate that this class would end up being another chance to wrestle with body stuff and make new discoveries, but it totally was. That's a good thing, if you're keeping score.

I decided to sign up for Saturday's class on Friday. Like so many things with this adventure, I didn't give myself much time to talk myself out of it. At the end of the day yesterday, that felt like a huge miscalculation. This morning I have a different perspective. 

The class was four hours long and started in a yoga studio. There were seven of us, plus the instructor, and I'm pretty sure that I gathered that everyone in the room was in their 40's. Most everyone was more experienced than me in running and I was the biggest person there, weight-wise. Why do I notice this? I have always noticed this, even when it wasn't about weight. When you're anything other than 5'4 and 115 lbs in this society, you notice your "rank" in the room. I'd like to say I've gotten past that, but I haven't. This probably seems like a digression, but you'll see how it mattered soon.

We started with introductions and quickly moved into practicing forms. For me, this was super helpful as I've read the books and even watched chi running videos, but couldn't really tell if I was getting it right. We had great instruction, personal attention and lots of opportunity to practice. This was hugely valuable to me. Even if you already pay close attention to your body, I think there's something to be gained here - maybe even more - because most of us have really screwed up our form trying to be faster (albeit unwittingly). Much of this session was spent barefoot, which also really helped with the sensing, though we did move into having shoes on towards the end.

The challenge of the day, for me, was heading out into near record heat to put it all into action. We rode together to a park and then jogged around the perimeter to practice. The jogging was longer and faster than I normally do with my intervals. It was in the sun, on the sidewalk and involved gentle inclines. I made it through the first loop pretty easily, but before we were far into the second loop, the heat and my back really started to get to me, and I fell further and further behind the group. 

I wanted to tell the instructor to move on, not to stop for me, but there really wasn't a chance. I berated myself for choosing to take the class when I was so clearly out of my league. I stopped to drink and cool down, and started picking at myself for wimping out. All the crap tapes were rolling in my head. I was sure everyone in the group was thinking I had no business having my fat ass there. I was the fat girl in full self-destruct mode. This was ALL me, by the way. No one actually gave me "a look" and in fact, several expressed sympathy or concern. Still, I beat the hell out of myself, thought I wasted my money, didn't gain anything, had no business being there and so on and so on. I was glad to leave, practically running out the door.

I got home and iced my back (this is becoming a daily occurrence).  When I mentioned my back in class, one of the participants told me to get to a physical therapist. My doc offered PT when this happened back in May and I shrugged it off. Now I'm thinking I'm going to email her and ask her to set it up. As my back numbed out, I still beat myself up. I called Jeff in to help talk me down. It was way too damned hot for any kind of hugging, so we just laid there in bed, feet touching, while he talked me down a bit. I finally fell asleep still feeling a bit like I'd wasted time and money, and discouraged about future running.

When I woke up this morning and sat up in bed, I felt a strong twinge from my lower abs. My lower abs, which had been such a focal point yesterday and which I was so sure were not working at all, were sore! Something did shift in my form yesterday, I realized. I went to bed thinking I needed to forget about jogging, keep walking and visit the physical therapist. I woke up thinking that I need to visit the physical therapist, hit the elliptical and swim at the gym till it cools down (and my back is more fully healed) and then try, try again. And I now have many more tools in my arsenal. I call win. 

What I most love about what I learned yesterday is the body/mind connection. I was able to use many things I've learned meditating and doing yoga in shifting my running form. Once my back is truly healed, I can see how this will make a HUGE difference not just in how running feels, but in how quickly I can do it. That's pretty exciting. If you have a chance to take a chi running class, do. The class really can be the connecting force between the book and DVDs. Just like in yoga, there's no substitute for a skilled instructor who can gently help you put your body where it needs to be so that things stop hurting. It's better than a mirror, for sure. 

TK: Fresh Corn & Herb Pasta Salad

This recipe was fantastic - incredibly flavorful and likely to get more so as the season progresses and stuff is fresh. I'd love to have all the ingredients from the farmer's market. My meat-eating family loved it as well - and it was super easy to make.

Thug Kitchen FTW!

Experiment: Day One

I entered this thing much like I did the running thing; without giving myself an opportunity to overthink it and come up with 50 reasons why not. I'm not going to check in every day because that would be tedious, but I will review from time-to-time.

As I mentioned yesterday, possibly in a comment to someone, I've never spent much time watching my sugar intake. I don't have much diabetes in my family (none, that I'm aware of) and it's never been an issue. So that's new, and man, that shit is sneaky! I feel like I may build some serious awareness and reduce what I've been taking in, but it seems nigh impossible to totally eliminate it from prepared food, even the healthy kind. Reducing alcohol and trans-fat is a lot easier for me, probably because I already know where to look and what to avoid. And actually, I'm eliminating alcohol, that's the easiest of all.

On that topic, some of you know I spent 6 months in a very active pursuit of sobriety. It's probably a story for a different post, but I do want to record that I'm somewhat skeptical of that claim in regards to my own body. I didn't lose much weight when I stopped drinking alcohol. This has me wondering, since alcohol is essentially a collection of sugars, is this advice - lower/reduce sugars & alcohol - really applicable to someone who doesn't have insulin issues? I guess we'll see. If nothing else, I DO know I feel a helluva lot more like running when I abstain.

Vegan is relatively easy in Portland. Easier still when Miss Nina is visiting Grandma for the next three weeks and won't complain. Like I needed another reason to love Portland, but it really has expanded what Jeff and Gab are willing to try and enjoy. Doing the natural temperature thing isn't hard either, since it's rarely extreme here.

Sleep was... problematic last night. Not sure what's up, but I have been having kuh-RAY-zee dreams the past week or so. At first I thought it was finishing up my comps. Then I thought it was all the movie-watching with mom. But those things have passed, and still with the crazy dreams. So I don't know. Last night's entry was a full-blown zombie story. Insects have also been prevalent lately. The primary effect is that I wake a lot during the night. Maybe that will settle a bit. I do drink coffee, but rarely after noon, so I don't think that's the problem.

So yeah... so far so good. Last night's run felt a bit heavy, but that's mostly related to the healing hip thing. I wish one of the larger nature trails was within easier walk distance so I could continue to baby it on dirt trails, but that's not an option right now. I'm being uber aware of form and not pushing distance or speed, but it's so frustrating! I feel like such a lumbering turtle-buffalo. I just want to remember what it's like to do this without pain or weird avoidant gaits.

Tonight I'm cookin' with Thug Kitchen, so expect some recipe reviews!

An Experiment

For the next month, while I'm waiting (not so patiently) for my hip to heal, I'm going to try an experiment. But first, let me explain the bigass gap in entries - I took some time off writing (and really shortened my training schedule) to finish my my masters. It needed to be done, and I'm happy because now I can focus on health, physical and spiritual. I sorely neglected these things over the past two years while I was finishing my MS.

So. The experiment. I thought of it after reading this article on obesity and my recent read of Scott Jurek's Eat and Run.  I have long thought that the popular thinking on obesity is at best flawed, and at worst a malicious form of oppression. Seriously. I know those are big words. But I digress. So some things of interest in the article that I want to experiment with include the idea of how trans-fat, alcohol and sugar affect metabolism and how controlling temperature and sleep affect the same.

For the next month, I'm going to keep my activity level about the same as it has been for past four months - three short-ish wogs each week, with a longer distance on Saturday. As I've noted here before, that didn't really affect my weight much. I'm going to tinker with what I eat.  Here's the plan for the next four weeks: no alcohol or trans fat. I will avoid as much refined sugar as I humanly can (which mostly means I'll pay attention to something I really haven't paid much attention to in the past). And I will eat vegan for two meals each day, allowing one lacto-ovo meal to appease my family. To the extent that I can control the temperature at home, I'll let it be natural. And I pledge to get at least 7 hours of sleep each night.

I will measure changes in weight, inches and blood pressure/resting pulse rate. I will also keep track of pace and how I feel when I wog towards running (that's the current focus, as much as my hip allows).

Based on what I find, I may make an appointment with the doc to do some blood work to get a more detailed read of what (if anything) changes and tack on another month.

Because why not? I'm in full-discovery mode, seeing what I can do with my body and letting curiosity drive. Whatever I discover really only applies to me, but I so want to know how much these things affect my health.

So here we go. Cheers to the next grand adventure!

Eat & Run

I've been reading/listening to Scott Jurek's Eat & Run lately. I'm not sure I'll ever want to do an ultramarathon, but I am inspired to think about how the food eat not only fuels my body, but potentially  heals my body. So I'm flirting yet again with vegetarianism. I'm cutting back on dairy as well, pretty sharply, but I'm just not ready to let go of small amounts of cheese.

When I did this as a teenager, my dad took it as an affront to his personal eating choices. Despite not asking for special meals, he was incredibly bothered by my exploration. When I left meat out of my meals, he was mad. "There's no way," he declared, "you could possibly get the nutrition you need." Actually, what he probably said was something more like, "You're not eating right. You need meat." With maybe a few colorful adjectives and adverbs. But you get the gist. I had to be vegetarian on the sly as much as possible. It lasted until I moved in with Jeff.

I danced in and out throughout the years with Jeff. Mostly it was about leaving a lighter footprint on the earth. I have mixed feelings about animals rights & food choice, and it's never been a solid foundation for this choice. So... lighter footprint. My longest stint to date was the first two years I lived in the Midwest. Let me say that the Midwest is NOT an easy place to be vegetarian. Nor is it easy when no one else in your household particularly cares for vegetables or wants to stop eating meat. I hoped to win my girls over by being very clear with them about where their meat comes from, what it was and how it comes to be in packages. They were unmoved. So I did a variation on what I did as a teenager - I just kept the meat out of most of what I ate.

This time, though, I'm not doing that. I'm cooking vegetarian meals and if they want meat, they make it. I'm also more strongly coming from a place of nutrition and fueling my new love affair with running and my body. I want health. And I want to lessen my footstep. And I live in a place where it's relatively easy to be vegetarian. I've been surprised at some resistance from Jeff. Still not 100% sure what that's all about. He should know I do my homework, and this time I'm being more fully concerned with whole nutrition. No more picking out the meat.

At any rate, I feel great. I'm waiting for the back to heal to really see any changes in performance, but I know that in general my digestive tract is much happier with me. I feel better. My clothes fit a bit differently. So here we go with another small but mighty change. I love finding ways to be happy AND healthy. I think I thought those things were somehow mutually exclusive for a long time.

actually, i can

So this is my new mantra. It applies to my running, it applies to my masters (soooo very close to done), it applies to coming to Oregon, so many things.

Tonight I was able to get started again. Slow for me, but still, a good 5K. And I'm back.